Reckoning Our Spiritual Malaise

When you combine the tiny irritants in life with the larger ones, things adds up

What the French do consistently well

Malaise. It translates from the Latin/old French to “bad” (mal ) with “ease” (aise). Bad ease. What better way to say it? Credit the French. They have a way with words. And food. And wine. And fries!

Of course, all is not well in France in these days. Ms. LePenne, for instance is a far right wing nut job xenophobe, who like a certain someone in the current White House, specializes in pedaling hate, fear, nationalism. This wins over far too many French voters by spreading distrust of immigrants, globalism and the European Union.

In this country, we are hardly in a position to criticize French voters for this!

At the moment, Le Penne happens to be prohibited from running for election due to her conviction for the embezzlement of her party’s political contributions.

Like the U.S., France is navigating through a period of severe political and economic uncertainty and upheaval. Its government is unstable, Le Penne’s scandal is scandalous, the country is wrestling with the volatile topic of pension reform and possibly raising the retirement age, and is deeply enmeshed with the topic of Ukraine, the U.S. defection as an ally and protector of democracies the world over, and the encroachment of Russian imperialism.

Then there is France’s economic growth forecast. Or rather, lack thereof.

The Banque de France has downgraded the 2025 GDP growth forecast to 0.7%, citing weaker-than-expected economic activity at the end of the previous year. Moodys recently downgraded France’s credit rating to Aa3, and S&P revised its outlook to negative, reflecting concerns over the growing deficit and debt levels.

But other than all those things, everything is dandy in Frenchy Land!

Youpi! (That’s French for yippee)

Processing our own modest collection of irritations

Like France, we have our own list of annoyances, some of which involve French exports. We are whining, for instance, about wine, because the latest tariffs have made our love of Bordeaux too damn expensive!

What follows are a few other things, unrelated to France or anything else, that are lousing up our esprit de corps this week:

1. Car registration

   Sorry to bother you, but misery DOES love company. We recently bought a used car from a good friend. Securing registration and the title transfer from the California DMV has been a nightmare. All online. No phone service. No humans. Rejection of one submission after another. We still wait with bated breath!

2. Dog license renewal

   Fucking online Contra COsta County Animal Services only accepts one page as proof of the required rabies certificate for renewal of licenses. Fucking said certificate is two pages, not one! Hence we were rejected for both dogs for “incomplete submission” because the one page we uploaded did not include the second page needed for a “complete” submission.

3. Zone 1 valve/solenoid error

   It’s spring. The rain is over and it’s time to turn on the irrigation. Except Zone 1 of our 10-zone irrigation system seemed not to be working. We spent 60 minutes testing the controller. Another 30 trying to locate the valve, as the solenoid or valve might be busted. The whole f’ing thing was submerged in mud! Then we figured out the zone actually IS working, it’s just not where we thought it was. Oy.

4. SMFTA Violation

   The San Francisco Metropolitan Transportation Agency decided that the new used car we can’t register thanks to the DMV was illegally parked a week after we bought the car. The address of the violation gave us a 360 view of a San Francisco downtown intersection we’ve never been ever in our entire 64 years of life. Filed an appeal, laid out our case, and we finally got a “we’re sorry” letter, “your violation has been dismissed.” Phew.

5. Thermostat/Vivint issue

   Installed a new HVAC at the house - a highly efficient, climate friendly heat pump system that was drastically expensive. Except the new thermostats do not integrate with the Vivint Security system. Incompatible. So now the Vivint home panel insists there is an error. Removing the thermostats from the home panel required a 30-minute call with the Vivint technical support team. Fun. Gosh we love queues, don’t you?

6. Chicken egg location

   We acquired three new chickens a few weeks back. One of the new hens we call “Poofy,” as she is a Polish chicken who looks a bit like Warriors guard Brandon Podziemski. Anyways, she seemed not to be laying eggs even though all the others were laying up a storm. Where are the fucking eggs? Our housemate found them yesterday - about 18 of them - hiding under a thorny rose bush in the side yard. Recovering them entailed three bandaids and two clothing tears from the thorns in the shirt we were wearing.

Stop please with the Kvetching!

It’s Yiddish. And we are guilty of it, sharing all these personal irritations with you. But let’s push on to something more entertaining and upbeat, shall we? How ‘bout that stock market baby!

What follows is a close approximation of the market’s most recent reactions to current events. Enjoy!

Documenting the correlation between Wall Street and White House announcements on Truth Social

Disclosure: What follows is utterly, entirely, thoroughly and completely made up. In service of a point.

Orange Tornado (OT) announcement on Truth Social, 10pm, Sunday evening before the markets open on Monday:

“Tomorrow, I will announce the most beautiful tariffs against many countries who have been ripping us off for years. Or, as I have been saying for a long time, and I think you'll agree, because I said it to you once, so unfair! I love the Mexican and Chinese people, and they love me, especially the rich ones who buy my apartments or stay at my hotels or play on my golf courses. But are going to implement these tariffs and they will be the best tariffs of all time, and in all history, to make American great again!”

Market open, 9:30 am: Dow Jones plunges 750, S&P 365, NASDAQ 560.

OT on Truth Social at 11am:

“This morning I decided we will exempt a few products from the tariffs I announced last night Just a few. Because ‘gina” is so unfair. I have a great relationship with Xi Jing Ping - he likes me. We talk about anything! But we can’t continue in this unfair trade relationship. That’s why this morning I’ve decided I am exempting all electronic products - computer chips, iPhones, laptops, monitors, any gadget that runs on a battery, and anything Amazon sells, or that gets advertised on Facebook, E-Bay or any other company who’s CEO attended and contributed to my inauguration. No doubt this will help improve the market’s reaction, which is why I told all my rich friends I was doing this about 20 minutes ago.”

Market at 11:15am: DJ surges 2,000 points, S&P 450, NASDAQ 750.

OT on Truth Social at 1pm:

“Despite these exemptions for electronic products, I want to be clear that ‘gina’ does not get a permanent pass. The exemption I announced this morning is only paused, not permanent. If my best pal Xi does not lick my balls sometime over the next five days, we will re-impose the tarriffs and even biglier than we had announced. Electronics will get tariffed at 2,000 percent until I am satisfied.”

Market at 1:15 pm: DJ falls 3000 points, S&P 780, NASDAQ 974.

OT on Truth Social at 3:30 pm, just before the closing bell:

“Spoke a few minutes ago with Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, and they agreed with me entirely, as they always do, because that’s why I appointed them, that we will not impose a 2,000 percent tariff on China, but only a modest 300 percent tariff, there by reducing China tariffs by 666 percent over what their tariff would have been if not for my extreme generosity and flexibility with respect to our trade policy.”

Market at the closing bell: DJ climbs 1,500 points, S&P 450 points, NASDAQ

That’s your Wrap.