The Three Stooges Who Might Run (and Ruin) U.S. Healthcare
There’s no shortage of cabinet nominees to ridicule, but let’s focus For now on the Larry, Curly and Moe being pushed today by the Orange Tornado
Remembering Larry, Curly and Mo
Larry Fine (left, born Louis Feinberg), Curly Howard (right, born Jerome Horwitz) and Moe Howard (center, born Moses Horwitz), are unparalleled icons of American comedic history. When we were young (back in the late 60’s), these guys were already old and dated, but they delivered – in black and white – everything a 9-year-old could ever possibly want from a comedic trio.
The Three Stooges were an American vaudeville and comedy team active from 1922 until 1970, best remembered for their 190 short-subject films by Columbia Pictures. Their hallmark styles were physical, farce, and slapstick comedy.
Six total Stooges appeared over the act's run (with only three active at any given time). Along with the three pictured above, there was Shemp Howard (born Samuel Horwitz), Joe Besser, and "Curly Joe" DeRita (born Joseph Wardell).
While not photogenically similar, we think the original three fools shown here bear a remarkable resemblance to Trump’s most recent three healthcare stooges who might just get to run both your national healthcare system and ours.
Regrettably, there ain’t nothing funny about our current American healthcare system, nor anything these three fools would do to it were they confirmed to their nominated positions!
RFK Jr. (HHS). Mehmet Oz (CMS), Marty Makery (FDA)
Who needs science to guide healthcare policy?
Not these three buffoons, that’s for sure!.
RFK Jr. - Not a Dr!
We feel certain RFK Jr’s reputation precedes anything we might say here. He is anti-fluoride, anti-vaccine, and pro shit-ton of supplemental and nutritional stuff science can neither confirm nor deny as safe or effective.
Apparently, in RFK’s mind , “science” is a random, not to be trusted discipline that prevents way too many Americans from buying products Americans deserve and are entitled too, regardless of their unproven health effects.
Mehmet Oz - Not an administrator
Along these same lines, President-elect Donald Trump also named TV personality Mehmet Oz to lead the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), which oversees the healthcare of millions of Americans.
The agency, which falls under the umbrella of the Department of Health and Human Services, has more than 6,000 employees and plays a major role in shaping the health coverage of more than 130 million Americans enrolled in Medicare, Medicaid and plans obtained through the Affordable Care Act marketplaces. HHS falls under the auspices of RFK’s HHS agency.
Dr. Oz is a well-known opponent of Obamacare, also known as the Affordable Care Act (ACA). He regularly expresses worries about possible care rationing, increased expenses, and legal restrictions on access to specialist care.
Oz's resistance, according to critics, is motivated by political alignment and financial gain. They cite his sponsorships of Republican legislators who favored dismantling the Affordable Care Act and his investments in healthcare firms. His veracity was questioned by medical specialists. Oz's complaints, according to surgeon and medical writer Dr. David Gorski, are "politically driven rather than grounded in patient care," as per the Huffington Post.
Dr. Marty Makary - Not a Dr. who cares about science.
Johns Hopkins surgeon Dr. Marty Makary is the leading candidate for the job of Food and Drug Administration commissioner, according to people familiar with the matter.
Among Makary’s discredited health care theories:
He claims selenium supplements can prevent cancer. In a 2012 episode of The Dr. Oz Show, he called selenium, a mineral found in certain foods, the “holy grail of cancer prevention,” per the Washington Post. But according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), there’s actually no solid proof that it reduces cancer risk.
He says three foods can reduce the risk of ovarian cancer, specifically, by “up to 75%.” In 2011 he said on The Dr. Oz Show that endive, red onion, and sea bass could drastically reduce ovarian cancer risk—a claim that so outraged one group of actual researchers, they refuted it in a 2012 article called “Reality Check: There Is No Such Thing as a Miracle Food,” published in the journal Nutrition and Cancer.
In 2010, he implied that sleeping with a bar of lavender soap can help combat restless leg syndrome (RLS). Yes, you read that right. As Insider reports, in a 2010 episode of The Dr. Oz Show, he said, “I know this sounds crazy, but people put it under their sheets. We think the lavender is relaxing and may be itself beneficial.” Though this one isn’t necessarily harmful per se, it’s just…incorrect. As one medically reviewed article put it: “There is no evidence that a bar of soap in the bed will help relax your legs. There is no logical reason to place a bar of soap in the bed to treat either restless legs or leg cramps.”
He was literally questioned by the Senate for endorsing two weight loss products on TV. In June 2014, he appeared before the Senate Subcommittee on Consumer Protection, Product Safety, and Insurance during a false advertising hearing. The subcommittee questioned him on why he’d endorsed raspberry ketone and green coffee extract as weight loss wonders. His written testimony violated Federal Trade Commission guidelines by saying certain pills could “melt” fat, according to Politico. At one point during the hearing, former Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill told Dr. Oz, “The scientific community is almost monolithic against you.”
He recommends HCG, a hormone produced by the placenta during pregnancy, for weight loss. In 2011, he dedicated air time to what he called a “controversial” weight-loss approach called the HCG diet, per the Washington Post. How controversial, you may ask? Followers were advised to take a dietary supplement containing human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), a hormone produced during pregnancy, and limit their food intake to 500 calories a day (!). This absolutely is as bad as it sounds: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) says taking products that contain HCG to lose weight is “reckless.” This 2020 statement from the administration makes its position clear in no uncertain terms: “If you have HCG products for weight loss, quit using it, throw it out, and stop following the dieting instructions.”
In 2020, he talked up the benefits of hydroxychloroquine as a treatment for COVID-19 on Fox News. In a largely incoherent speech just weeks after COVID-19 started spreading widely in the US, Dr. Oz insinuated that hydroxychloroquine could treat people who had become very ill with the virus. Nearly three years after its emergence, there’s still no strong evidence to support the drug’s use for COVID treatment.
In a recent debate, he said abortion decisions should be made among “women, doctors, and local political leaders.” Local politicians? Really? Um ok ladies. How many of you would like to ask your city council member for permission to exert your reproductive rights?
Our final note
Us musicians typically refer to the key of G as the “People’s Key.” Hard to explain that but we will try.
On guitar, piano and other instruments, G is one of the simplest and most basic keys from which to write or play a song. Most vocalists can handle the range of notes in a song written in G because it’s a middle range for us mere mortals who cannot sing too low or too high.
Check out chord and lyric charts by Dylan, Petty, the Beatles, Neil Young, the Eagles and just about everyone else. Prolly 60% or more of them are in G!
So here’s where we are going with this: Trump’s current crop of nominees for healthcare are chatting up healthcare policy, but not in the key of G. More like the key of F# minor diminished!
This is a key so arcane we will not not even waste this space or your time explaining to you what that actually means! Suffice it to say, F# minor diminished is something called “discordant.” Which more or less means that it will hurs the ear and rarely if ever satisfy an audience forced to listen to it.
If this slate of Trump healthcare nominees gets confirmed, we promise you plenty of discord. And that’s your Wrap.